Thrift Store HAWT-NESS
April 2nd, 2008Oh! Salutations long abused and neglected readers. As usual, i am not actually dead, i just play it on TV. Here is an attempt to keep things updated round here… Bi-WEEKLY THRIFT STORE PHOTO TRIP REPORTS!!!!! WOO-HOO!!!! yeah… we’ll see how long that lasts for. 
Oh Zachary. I’m sure you got ALL the ladies with this Purple Sparkly Ball…. that being said, did i want it? OH YES. i seriously considered it. but it DID already have his name on it, and it was a little light. Came with it’s own ball sack too…. alas, not glittery.
Remember the Slide? eh? EH???? “Featuring Nike Elite Andre Houle” oh yeah, that’s right. NIKE ELITE. What’s he up to now, i sincerely wonder. Only not enough to put actual effort into the wondering. Well, Nike Elite Andre can be yours for a mere $2.99 and 6 feet of floor space!
What IS it? God, i don’t know, but it’s mother fluffin’ FUGLY, is it not? Just imagine what the REST of it must of added to the composition? What color would you say that base is? Squid Shit Green? Well, in case you were pondering the possibility, let me assure you, that yes, that is in fact a VELVET Squid Shit Green, er, thingy.
Want a VCR? yeah, neither does anyone else.
2nd shelf down on the right is where over priced collectible souvenir glasses go to die. Why don’t you want to remember all the good times you had at Red Lobster anymore? That Lobster LOVED YOU! LOVED YOU FOR WHO YOU WERE! IT NEVER ASKED FOR ANYTHING! and now, you’ve cast it out, it sits languishing under flourescent lighting, trying to inch itself off the shelf to the shattery death of the linoleum below. HAPPY NOW!?? YOU UNBELIEVABLE BASTARD!!!!!
moving on….
You know what these LOVELY root beer mugs need? They need a a Wagon Wheel chandelier to hang out under…OOOOH yeah…. you can just picture it now, can’t you? These little beauties tied for the 70’s kitsch award with the following gems…
Remember, Nothing says class like ceramic faux milk canisters with mushroom and toadstool prints. I like to wonder what the rest of the kitchen that these darlings came from looked like? Was the whole cooking facility Fungi themed? did you have the crock pot and the casserole dishes? Adjacent to the kitchen, were there swinging saloon doors that led into a dusky brown dining room, perhaps with a wagon wheel chandelier and 7 little barrel mugs filled with frosty rootbeer nestled underneath? who knows….
Oh good, now i have a place to pick up my Child Cages for cheap! Those things are expensive! you have to get the expensive ones though, other wise they can chew right out.
Here is another chance to imagine what the bedroom this came from looked like. Someone painted this thing these colors. It’s astounding, i know. But if you think this one is ugly, hold on to your sense of good taste….
HOLY CWAP! Someone painted this piece this way on purpose. ON PURPOSE! LOVINGLY PAINTED IT. How do you describe this!?? it’s like 80’s yuppie meets 90’s “Kountry with a K” in a dark alley, or a retards nursery, beats the shit out of it, but accidentally leaves just enough traces that the fake TV forensics labs scrapes a sample and plugs it into a BS database that leads it all back to the yuppies who, rightly so, want nothing to do with this thing, but as a cruel twist of fate and justice, it gets left on their doorstep.
as i side note, when i went back the next week, out of everything, this was pretty much the only thing from this update that was still there. SHOCKING. i know
I found these beauties lurking underneath the foot spas, crock pots and popcorn poppers. Now THAT is a sewing Machine. PHWOAR! there’s nothing you couldn’t take on with these things, i swear. With this sewing machine, i could, dare i say it… RULE THE WORLD… well, possibly, but i could never get this back on the bus, these suckers were HEAVY. did i really want one though??? OOOOOOH yeah.
BIBLE EDITION!!!!!! sorry it’s out of focus, i’m still having issues trying to get my new camera to appreciate close up works.
Ah, Switzerland. I included the Paint Your Own Black Panther California Raisin in the frame for your enjoyment. So i hope you are enjoying it!
Nothing commemorates the signing of the Mayflower Compact better than a framed Metallic postcard!
Happy Father’s Day Antonio Banderas!
This came from someone’s kitchen. there were probably more in the set…. *shakes head*
I’m here to admit that there was a time, probably not too long ago, when i desperately wanted a Giant Over Sized Wrist Watch (GOSWW for short) to hang in my room, and was fairly sure that having one of these would make me the coolest kid EVER.
The winning record for this trip was “Aerobic Dance Hits” originally purchased from BEST! i remember Best….. And WAS the 16 page booklet with 110 pictures still in the sleeve you ask? OH, it was INDEED.
Here we see the result of somebody’s wife’s nagging. i’m not sure what years these are from, probably early 80’s i’m guessing. All i know is that nearly half of the rides on the Kings Dominion mug are no longer there. And did i totally buy one of these as a present for a friend of mine? Yes, yes i did. Which one? you will just have to guess.
Here is where i leave you for this week, with this OCCULAR TRAUMA! My GOD! you say, that is the UGLIEST SKIRT i have EVER SEEN! Some of those Colours exist on another plane that my mere human eyes cannot process! And you’d be have right… because in fact… this is the Ugliest pair of PANTS you have ever seen!!! YES, BY GOD! PANTS!!! was i tempted to buy them… yes. yes i was.
So, in the end, how much did i spend on this trip? About 20 bucks, and what did i walk away with? A new nearly complete outfit consisting of Stripped Osh Kosh overalls (because i’m a giant dork) a yummy brown hooded shirt, sunglasses, 2 records and a few other little things i’ve forgotten. i meant to take a pic of the booty, but didn’t. maybe next week then.
alas.
Jessi and i made our wings for the Fairy Festival in Glen Rock, PA…2 or 3 years ago…i can’t remember!
